The Bible tells us that husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. They are to provide for and protect their wives. They are to not withhold sexual intimacy from them. They are to treat them as the weaker vessel. However, the Bible doesn’t say that husbands must meet their wives’ emotional needs and love their wives with the “love language” their wives demand. This is extra-biblical nonsense that is destroying marriages.
I received an email recently from a distraught woman. Her husband wasn’t meeting her “emotional needs” which is a destructive term made up in the 80s in order to encourage women to destroy their marriages. She began an affair and had a baby with a man who did meet her supposed emotional needs. She ended up destroying her marriage and her children’s lives by divorcing her husband since she was so emotionally attached to this man. Her grown children are now rebellious, and she’s with her third boyfriend whom she also had a baby with. All because her first husband who she had six children with and who worked hard to provide for her didn’t meet her emotional needs…
She ended her email to me with this: “Obviously, the point of this story is that sin leads to sin which leads to more sin which leads to insecurity and trauma.” Let this be a lesson to all of you women who are married to good men but aren’t content because he isn’t meeting your “emotional needs.”
Women these days want their husbands to make them *feel* good because if they feel good, then they will be *happy* and they will stay in the marriage, but if their husbands aren’t making them *feel* good, then they will not be *happy* and have a good reason to divorce her husbands. The foundation of their marriage is built upon emotions and feelings (shifting sand). This is why up to 80 percent of divorces are initiated by women.
If their husbands aren’t saying the right words to them, acting in the way they want them to act, listening to them in the way they demand, and romancing them the way they desire, their emotional needs aren’t being met. Therefore, they aren’t happy, and they have a way out of their marriage. They want what the women on the Hollywood screen have which is all make-believe!
This, women, is the curse of the entire emotional needs issue. If you have a husband who works hard to provide for you, is faithful to you, and loves your children, you have a good man. Be thankful. So what if he doesn’t treat you like a queen. He’s NOT Prince Charming, and you’re not a queen.
Stop getting your marching orders (expectations) from Hollywood and begin loving your husband, submitting to him, finding ways to please him, and work on becoming the godly wife that God commands that you be as His Spirit works mightily within you. Don’t tear your homes down with your own hands like many women are doing these days.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5