Dr. KN Jacob made a video about Seven Reasons Why Men Leave Their Wives After Many Years Together. It was excellent! I am going to summarize his points and add some of my own. I have seen marriages end after many, many years of being together. It harms the adult children just as much as it would have if the parents divorced earlier. Divorce has long-term consequences to the next generations. Women, do all you can to keep your marriages together. Learn from what this man teaches!
#1 Control – Men hate being controlled. The wife always must have the final say, and everyone knows she’s wearing the pants in the home. This is out of order. God designed men to be the ones in control of their families. They are the head over their wives, and the wives are to submit to their husbands in everything, as long as it isn’t against God’s will.
#2 Sexlessness – Sex is a central issue for men. Men NEED sex. (He reiterated this point several times.) Intimacy is the only thing that makes marriage unique. You are the only person your husband can have sex with. Give him sex freely and often, women! God commands you don’t deprive him (1 Corinthians 7:5), so don’t. It’s not worth losing your husband to divorce.
#3 Lack of appreciation – Men can’t stand it when their wives compare them to other men. He will find a way to be appreciated elsewhere. Appreciate your husband. Never compare him to other men. Show him you appreciate him by loving him, by being kind to him, smiling at him often, giving him words of encouragement, and being sexually available to him. Learn what pleases him.
#4 Empty Nest – Children were the glue that kept them together. Many times, he stays for his children. When the children leave, the emptiness of their marriage is exposed, and there’s nothing that holds the marriage together any more. Remember, women, you were created to be his help meet first. Make him and your marriage a priority. Spend time alone together. Don’t spend that time arguing. Learn to listen and have good discussions with him. Make time for him. This is incredibly important!
#5 Extra Marital Affairs – When a wife commits adultery on her husband, her husband knows that his wife submitted to another man. He feels cheated, because it is an external attack on him. Never, ever commit adultery, women. The short-term pleasure will only end in long-term pain. I know women who cheated on their husbands. They never told their husbands, and this was a heavy burden they carried for all of their days. If a husband finds out, he is enraged. It’s NOT worth it, women!
#6 Wife Neglecting Herself – Many wives let themselves go as the years go by. Men are visual, contrary to what women want to believe. There’s no justification for a man leaving in this case or any other, but it’s a fact. Men want their wives to look the best they can look. Now, my husband doesn’t care about fake nails, jewelry, the latest fashion, or any of these kinds of things. He simply wants me to stay in shape, so I try hard to stay in shape by not eating too much and taking a long walk every day. Find out what your husband is attracted to and get to work on doing this for him.
#7 Endless conflicts – It’s the same conflict over and over again. He tires of it and wants out. The Proverbs warns of quarreling and contentious wives. Don’t be one of them! I stopped many years ago, and so can you! Sure, give your opinions, but then let it be. You don’t need the last word, and you don’t need to quarrel with him. Nothing good comes from conflict within your marriage. If there’s something you have argued with him about changing, try giving it to the Lord and living out 1 Peter 3:1,2 instead. God is far more effective at convicting and changing your husband than you are.
Do all that is in your power to keep your husband until death do you part! It is worth the fight.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies. The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her, so that he shall have no need of spoil. She will do him good and not evil all the days of her life.
Proverbs 31:10-12