A few years ago, I never would have imagined that I’d write to you. But here I am, a stay-at-home mom of two reaching out to say hello and thank you.
I was raised in all the ways you tell women not to raise their kids: with a nanny, babysitter, and daycare six days a week. Often ate dinner with my nanny. She even took me trick-or-treating some years while both my parents worked. She also came on many family vacations so my parents could work or do their own thing.
Even though I hated this arrangement, I nonetheless convinced myself it was acceptable. Who wants June Cleaver for a mother? Not me! Far better to have a mom whose work as a doctor leaves her no time or energy for her family.
I went off to a super liberal women’s college in NYC. Graduated top of my class and went on to climb the corporate ladder, go out drinking, and date lots of guys casually.
But I was still looking for God all those years. I grew up going to Catholic school but never connected with that church. I gave up on God many times, but for some crazy reason, He never gave up on me. After many sinful and disastrous relationships, I married a wonderful man and went on to have two beautiful daughters.
Still, I was not a good mother or wife the first few years. I was steeped in feminist thinking about how my husband and kids were a burden, holding me back from doing what I wanted. I am ashamed to admit my daughter was even in daycare for a few months while I went back to a job I hated.
One day, I had an epiphany and quit that job to stay home. It’s the hardest work I’ve ever done, but the most rewarding. I also got involved in a great church. Little by little, I started to realize how my upbringing and beliefs were all wrong. The feminist life script of pour everything into education and career, get married and have kids as late as possible, put career before family is ruining women, families, and society. The research even bears it out, showing that women have become markedly more unhappy over the past 50 years.
During this time, I found your Instagram account. Didn’t follow you, but read all your posts, sometimes with disdain. But I kept coming back and they helped me achieve a needed paradigm shift. My home is much more peaceful and loving now that I try my best to take joy in homemaking and cherish my family.
If I could go back, I would not have gone to the college I did. I would not have waited until my mid thirties to marry and have kids. I would not have dated casually, shacked up, or partied so much. I was a lost sheep for many years.
I sometimes find myself wishing I grew up in a home with a loving, godly mother present. One who cared about my life, made me nutritious dinners (I remember lots of frozen pot pies), and who taught me how to be a good Christian. I mourn my childhood and have to work hard to give my children what wasn’t given to me. But I’m doing it little by little. I even taught myself to bake after never baking my entire life. I started with sourdough bread and branched out to pies and cookies. Would you believe I got first place at the Pennsylvania Farm Show for my chocolate chip cookies? Pretty amazing for a girl who never once baked cookies with her mother!
Reading your newest posts each morning gives me guidance. It is so hard to get through to people when the larger culture encourages living for yourself and pursuing pleasure at all costs. But there are those of us who are listening and changing for the better.
So thank you for your work. And best of luck with TikTok!
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.