By Ken Alexander
For those who read this page but still don’t get it, the page is dedicated to training Christian women in Biblical Womanhood. Not in theology, not in how their husbands should treat them, but in a Christian woman’s role as defined by God’s Word, along with other wise advice from an older godly woman.
Yes, we believe definitively that a husband is to accept an even greater burden of sacrificial love and care for His wife and family as he is called to provide, protect and lead them forward into the ways of the Lord. But such love does not make him an impotent servant leader who tries to chase down his wife’s perceived needs and desires to try and keep her happy. Sure, he wants to please her, but not at the expense of doing things God’s ways, and not helping her grow up into her vital role of becoming a loving wife and Mom, the keeper of the home.
Just this week I was contacted by two husbands who have come to the realization that they have not been leading, and in turn, loving their wives as they should when they have allowed their wives to paralyze them with their emotions. Any constructive criticism of their home work and family duties has been put off limits. They have instead allowed their wives to remain immature in their roles as they have taken on much of the household chores and care of the children.
It seems the more help they have given the more they find their wives making poor choices how they spend their time online, on the phone and waking up long after breakfast has been served to the children. The family is in disarray because of a lack of leadership and a lack of willing submission to listen to what needs to be changed to get things done well in the home.
Yes, husbands are to love their wives as Christ loves the Church. This means always placing our wife and family first before our own needs and desires, but if our spouse is not living out Biblical womanhood as given to us by the Word, we as the ordained head of the family must do what we can to gently, kindly and lovingly, sometimes firmly, help our wife become what God desires her to be. She can no longer be untouchable because of her emotions and angry outbursts. Yet we too cannot enter into sin with her as we coach her, but must stay in the Spirit as we lead.
If you are on this journey to live out marriage and family God’s ways, I highly recommend that you begin by having a regular time of devotions and cuddling together to talk, and to study about our New Lives in Christ. The key to Christian life and home is not in trying harder to walk in God’s precepts, but in allowing the Spirit of God to make us want to be more like Jesus. To live His love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness in our lives as a walk in the Spirit. To put off fleshly things and to put on Christ Jesus and His ways as we determine to “do all things Christian in our homes.”
No more yelling, arguing, black moods, silence and stares of disdain, but replacing instead these sins with the love of Christ who lives mightily within us. Or does He? If He does, we will want to please Jesus, which means love and understanding for a husband and love and submission for the wife. Carrying out our God given roles as we both grow up into Christ together.
There is no greater satisfaction than being one together in Christ as we raise the next generation of godly children, modeling for them what it means to be a Spirit filled Christian. Please join us on this grand adventure, knowing that both husband and wife have great responsibilities before the Lord, but this page is by design as a one-sided view focused on Biblical womanhood.