Jeremy Vuolo wrote in a journal years ago what he wanted in a wife and shared it in his new book, “The Hope We Hold.” This is what he wrote:
“Lord, bring me a partner, please. One who is in love with Christ, with a visible passion, humble, meek, willing to forsake all to follow wherever You lead us. Not consumed with money and comfort; A wartime mentality. A servant, strong in faith. Walks consistently by faith. Lover of children. Physically attractive to me. Disciplined. Healthy lifestyle. Acquainted with the type of Christianity I’m striving to live.”
This is a wise man who was looking for these qualities in a wife, and he seems to have found one! These are good for you, young women, in preparing for a future husband. You absolutely must love the Lord Jesus Christ deeply. If you love Christ deeply, you will be humble and meek, since you will understand that without Christ, you are NOTHING. Everything good that you have in life are gifts and blessings from Him.
“Not consumed with money and comfort.” Our western mentality is consumed with money and comfort, aren’t we? Most of us have had it our entire lives. Few in America have ever gone to bed hungry. Even the poor among us are overweight. Food and comfort are NOT problems in America. We have roofs over our heads and beds to sleep on. We are the wealthiest nation that has ever existed! (Poverty these days comes from a poverty of relationships, the breakdown of the family and all of its tragic ramifications.)
Be a woman who is not consumed with money and comfort to the point that you chase after all of the things this world uses to entice young women: fashion, fake everything, Botox, travel, eating out consistently, spending more time on your iPhone rather than on helping others, credit card debt, student loan debt, recreational shopping, and so on. Learn to live without and live simply and frugally instead. Your future husband will appreciate this immensely. Godliness with contentment is GREAT gain!
“A wartime mentality.” We are in a spiritual battle all of the time while living on this earth. The battle is being waged in the heavenlies against good and evil. Satan is the prince of the power of the air, but God reigns. You need to understand this spiritual battle and be prepared to fight it through prayer, His Word, obedience to God, and speaking the Truth in love. People NEED Jesus more than they need anything else.
“A servant, strong in faith.” Most children are not being raised to serve others. Jesus told us that the greatest of all is the servant of all. Be a godly woman who yearns to serve her family by beginning to serve those in your life now. When you see a need, fill that need if you can. If a mother has just had a baby, fix a meal for her and help with the older children.
“Walks consistently by faith.” This comes by walking in the Spirit rather than in the flesh. It’s trusting God in the good times and the hard times. It’s keeping your eyes on things above rather than things on this earth. It’s dwelling on the good, holy, and lovely in the land. It’s understanding that ALL things work together for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose.
“Lover of children.” If you haven’t been around children and are not comfortable with them, begin working in the nursery in your church. Teach children’s Sunday School. Learn to love children! They are so easy to love once you spend time with them. They’re so innocent and fun. Sure, they’re a lot of work, but they’re SO worth it. Invest your life into children somehow and desire raising children of your own someday.
“Physically attractive.” Do the best you can with your looks. Eat as healthy as possible. Cut out the sugar and junk food. Exercise. Get in the best shape that you can. Dress to fit your figure. Dress modestly. The biggest secret, however, is to be joyful. This is what makes a woman attractive more than anything else. How to become joyful? Continually renew your minds with Truth and take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ. Choose to be thankful for your many blessings. Laugh easily and smile often.
“Disciplined.” I can see why he would want to marry a disciplined wife. If you weren’t disciplined properly as a child, it’s a lot harder to discipline yourself but not impossible. A fruit of the Spirit is self-control. Find someone to help hold you accountable if you struggle in this area. Make your bed every single morning. Keep your bathroom clean and tidy, along with your kitchen and living space. When you use something, put it back where it belongs. Eat three meals a day without snacking. Don’t overeat. Do what it takes to be disciplined. Most importantly, spend time in God’s Word daily!
“Healthy lifestyle.” He wants a wife that takes care of herself. I already wrote about this in being attractive, so there’s not much more to say. Study nutrition. Learn alternative ways to heal before going to a doctor for every sniffle and fever. Be outside and take walks as often as possible. Make sure to get enough sleep at night. Don’t sit around all day on your iPhone and watching TV. These are NOT conducive to a healthy lifestyle. Learn to shop for and cook healthy meals instead.
These are some areas you can begin working on becoming marriage material, young women. Few young women have been taught these things. With some effort and discipline, you can become marriage material, however. All of these characteristics are what all godly women should pursue, even if some never marry.
Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.