A few days ago, I shared a post on my Facebook page that was written by a group called “The Gentle Mamma.” It was titled, “Hold Your Sons.” In it was written, “Put your hand over their hearts and send them the purest love in existence.” Only God’s love is pure. Pure love is spelled out in 1 Corinthians 13. Most of us fall short on a daily basis of anything close to pure love.
“Tell them their emotions matter.” This is where people were confused. How can this be wrong? I wrote above this post that mothers should teach their sons to be led by truth rather than by their emotions. Many argued this point with me. “Aren’t men supposed to have emotions?”
Women tend to struggle with their emotional nature. God created us with more of an emotional nature in order to be home raising our children. We’re more in tune with our children because of this. We tend to be more sensitive, but it’s easy for us to be led by our emotions.
Are emotions bad? No. This is where the confusion comes in. Crying when someone dies. Reading a story and crying because of sorrow. Laughing at jokes. Weeping with those who weep. Rejoicing with those who rejoice. Mourning with those who mourn. All of these are healthy ways to use our emotions, but women tend to cry a whole lot more than men if you’ve noticed. I am thankful that my husband is stronger emotionally than me. This is a good thing!
How do women use their emotions in a wrong way? They use them to manipulate. When they’re not getting what they want from their husbands, they will give their husbands the silent treatment in order to get their way. They will throw temper tantrums at times too. Something will get into their minds and instead of taking it captive to the obedience of Christ, they will turn a mole hill into a mountain and burst out in rage at their husbands. When they are tired, they will become moody and mean. All of these are ways women tend to be more led by their emotions in a wrong way.
We can’t allow our emotions to control us. We must take our emotions captive to the obedience of Christ and allow truth to control our emotions. I know grown adult women who have ruined almost every single one of their families’ vacations by having emotional outbursts and saying things they should not say. I have heard adult women screaming at their husbands in anger. Other women refuse to give their husbands sex for weeks because they are angry with them, or they won’t talk to them for days on end. These are all ways women allow their emotions to control them, and these gentle mammas want to raise sons like this?
In raising two boys and two girls, yes, they were all emotional as small children but as they grew older, the girls had a lot harder time dealing with their emotions than our sons. It’s the way God created them. The hormones coursing through women is a big part of this, but you must teach your daughters to not allow these emotions to control them. It’s a gift you give to their future husbands.
These gentle mammas want to turn their sons into women. This is the goal of our culture these days, if you haven’t noticed. They want to erase genders. Well, that’s at least what they say. They falsely believe that women are better than men. “The future is female” is what young women are being taught. “There would be no more wars without men!” False. Did you know the highest rate of domestic abuse is between lesbians? It’s because they are being completely controlled by their emotions rather than by Truth.
Men tend to be more ruled by logic and reason. Women tend to be more ruled by emotions and feelings. This is one of the reasons why God put men in charge in the homes and churches (and elsewhere in my opinion). Women are the weaker vessel (1 Peter 3:7) and are deceived more easily (1 Timothy 2:14).
Handling Our Emotions in a Godly Way
Raise your sons to be controlled by Truth rather than by their emotions, mothers. Sure, it’s okay if they cry at times and share their hurts with you. But when it comes to anger, rage, and being upset, teach them to control these emotions in a productive way rather than in a destructive way, and teach your daughters to not use their emotions in a manipulative way to get what they want.
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.
2 Corinthians 10:5