WHY WOMEN SHOULD ONLY TEACH BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD

My conviction that women shouldn’t be teaching women doctrines other than the doctrine of biblical womanhood, as commanded in Titus 2:3-5, has given me a lot of criticism from many places. I am even being called dangerous, legalistic, ungodly, and a false teacher.

Women’s Bible studies are the pathway that has led to many female preachers/pastors, women speaking in the churches, and lukewarm churches. If women can preach/teach Scripture in a church, how is this any different than the men who do this on Sunday mornings?

Yes, women can share Bible verses that encourage and convict them with others. Yes, they can listen to a sermon by John MacArthur or another great male preacher and share what they learned from it. I use a lot of Scripture to support what I teach in biblical womanhood. I also use a lot of Scripture to encourage women in being godly women, but I don’t teach verse-by-verse from the Bible in a church and expound deeply into what they mean. God has clearly ordained men who are biblically qualified to do this. I am not.

If women are to be silent in the churches with all subjection (1 Timothy 2:11) and not teach nor be in authority over men because Eve was deceived (1 Timothy 2:14), what gives them the authority to teach Scripture and sermons to women in the churches? I can’t find any verse that supports this.

If you don’t agree with me, that’s okay. I am only sharing my convictions with you. I don’t see how any of this is dangerous, legalistic, or makes me ungodly and a false teacher though. I love truth. I love searching God’s Word for His perfect will. If you come to different convictions than I do, that’s fine! I am not God. I don’t know everything, but I would rather error on the side of taking the Bible too literally rather than too liberally.

The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things; That they may teach the young women to be sober, to love their husbands, to love their children, To be discreet, chaste, keepers at home, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God be not blasphemed.
Titus 2:3-5

***Please listen to Dale Partridge teach on this important topic.

https://thetransformedwife.com/why-women-should-only-teach-biblical-womanhood/

LIVING A LIFE OF SIMPLICITY AND CONTENTMENT

Recently, I shared a picture of my kitchen on my social media. I shared it because of the sun streaming through my windows in the late afternoons as the days grow longer thus showing every fingerprint, all of the dust, dirty cupboards, and making every imperfection clearly visible. It caused me to deep clean it all. Spring seems the time to deep clean and maybe this is why! The sun shows us that our homes need it.

Invariably, one woman made an unkind comment on this post. “That beautiful, big kitchen from only the husband’s income? without you needing to work???” I decided to ignore it as I do many of these kinds of comments. Later, one woman responded to her in this way: “You don’t know how much her husband makes. You don’t know if she saved and saved and saved to be able to afford this kitchen. If you zoom into the kitchen, you can clearly see that her refrigerator is white. It’s an older model too. Her microwave is white. If she was an extravagant spender, she would have stainless steel or one of the other popular finishes.”

I thanked her! I have never been into extravagant living. Most of the furniture in my home is hand-me-downs from my parents or bought from Craigslist which is used furniture. We keep all of our appliances until they are broken and unfixable. Our microwave is 25 years old. Our fridge and ovens are old too. The ovens came with the house so they’re 25 years old too but work great! We had to replace the dishwasher several years ago since it was broken. Instead of completely replacing our wood cabinets, we painted them since we didn’t want to live without a kitchen for weeks and the cost was high to replace. We bought new countertops years ago since the old ones had cracked. I put in wood floors when we bought this house since I love wood floors and they last for many years. We haven’t had to do anything to them yet!

I love for my home to be uncluttered, tidy, and comfortable. These are my priority. I don’t care about having the newest and best of anything. I don’t care about having a model home. I am not saying any of this is wrong unless it causes you to go into debt or your husband doesn’t like you spending so much money. It’s just the way I have chosen to live. I strive to be content and if you have a roof over your head, food in your belly, and clothes on your back, you are to be content (1 Timothy 6:8). Most of us have far more than this! We have much to be thankful for.

I love my home. I am thankful for it. I am thankful that I have a husband who has worked hard to provide for me. I am a homebody and spend a lot of time in my home. I have no desire to travel or be away from it. I love having my grandchildren and others over to my home. Our homes are blessings from the Lord! It’s the joy, love, and peace that make a house a home, not extravagance or a bunch of stuff. Focus on what’s important.

But godliness with contentment is great gain.
1 Timothy 6:6

https://thetransformedwife.com/living-a-life-of-simplicity-and-contentment/

MEN, MARRY VIRGINS SINCE THE RISK OF DIVORCE PLUMMETS

“Wolfinger found a strong correlation among the three cohorts: women who married as virgins had the lowest divorce rates by far. In the 1980s, 11 percent of virgin marriages (on the women’s part) ended in divorce within five years. This decreased to eight percent in the 1990s, and then fell again to six percent in the 2000s. Similarly, women with the second lowest five-year divorce rates are those who had only one partner prior to marriage.” (source)

A woman who has the twitter handle of @GiaMMacool tweeted this recently: “Women release large quantities of oxytocin during sex. Oxytocin is unofficially called the ‘love hormone.’ It emotionally bonds you to your partner. This is why a woman’s body count matters. Pair bonding loses its meaning when you’ve bonded with several men.”

My husband is my one and only. We have been married over 42 years. Even when we were going through a rough time in our marriage, I never once entertained the thought of sexual intimacy with anyone else. I was absolutely bonded to him. I have never had any desire for anyone else. This is the perfect will of God. One man and one woman for life. Keep the marriage bed undefiled even before marriage!

This explains why up to 80 percent of women are the ones initiating divorce. I suspect many of them weren’t virgins when they married. Everything in our highly sexualized culture is persuading them to give themselves away to boyfriends. Dating and fornication set women up for divorce. Once married, they are unable to bond with their husbands as God intends them to do. We weren’t created to have sex with many people. It harms us physically and emotionally.

Many went crazy, even Christians, when I published my post Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos. Well, all of this explains exactly why men who understand all of this would want a virgin to marry. The risk of their wives divorcing them is small. Teach your daughters and sons truth. Let them know the consequences of fornication. The sexual purity movement did this and now, many women claim it hurt them. No, fornication hurt them just as God’s Word clearly warns us.

Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.
1 Corinthians 6:18

https://thetransformedwife.com/men-marry-virgins-since-the-risk-of-divorce-plummets/

DOES TEACHERS OF “GOOD THINGS” MEAN WOMEN CAN PREACH TO WOMEN ANYTHING THEY WANT?

“The aged women likewise, that they be in behaviour as becometh holiness, not false accusers, not given to much wine, teachers of good things” (Titus 2:3). Many women these days will use the phrase in this verse “good things” to mean that they are able to teach any doctrines in God’s Word to other women. Is this what is meant? I searched the old commentaries to see what they had to say about it.

“Teachers of good things.–Or, teachers of what is good. Beza’s rendering, ‘mistresses of honour’, is singular and expressive. This does not mean that these aged women should occupy the place of public instructresses, but that they should, by here and there speaking a kind warning word, and, better still, by the golden silence of a useful honoured life, teach their younger sisters lessons of truth and faith and love.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

“Teachers of good things; both by example and by instruction, but in their own houses privately; for they were not suffered to teach publicly, or to speak in the church; these should be teachers, not of old wives’ fables, of superstitious customs, rites, and ceremonies, of the intrigues of love, and of things filthy and obscene, which are too often handed down to posterity by such persons; but of things that are solid and substantial, useful and improving, honest and honourable, chaste and pure.” (Gill’s Exposition)

Many fail to understand this verse: “But I suffer not a woman to teach, nor to usurp authority over the man, but to be in silence” (1 Timothy 2:12). Many seem to believe it means that women can’t teach men nor be in authority over men in the churches. I believe it means that women can’t teach in the churches period even to women. It’s the men who are called to teach sound doctrine to the congregation which includes men and women.

Gill’s Exposition on this verse: “But I suffer not a woman to teach, They may teach in private, in their own houses and families; they are to be teachers of good things, Titus 2:3. They are to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord; nor is the law or doctrine of a mother to be forsaken, any more than the instruction of a father; see Proverbs 1:8. Timothy, no doubt, received much advantage, from the private teachings and instructions of his mother Eunice, and grandmother Lois; but then women are not to teach in the church; for that is an act of power and authority, and supposes the persons that teach to be of a superior degree, and in a superior office, and to have superior abilities to those who are taught by them.”

Once women decided that the “good things” they are to teach to other women means they can teach all of God’s Word, female preachers exploded. They falsely believe they are teaching “good things” without teaching what God commands that they teach, namely being sober, loving and obeying their husbands, loving their children, being discreet, chaste, good, and keepers at home.

Now, some women will even use the word “good” in Titus 2:5 to say they can teach other women theology. Is this what it means?

“Good.—Gracious, kind, thoughtful to others, especially to inferiors.” (Ellicot’s Commentary)

“Good – In all respects, and in all relations. To a wife, a mother, a sister, there can be no higher characteristic ascribed, than to say that she is good. What other trait of mind will enable her better to perform her appropriate duties of life? What other will make her more like her Saviour?” (Barnes’ Notes on the Bible)

“Good—kind, beneficent (Matthew 20:15; Romans 5:7; 1Peter 2:18). Not churlish and stubborn, but thrifty as housewives.” (Jamieson-Fausset-Brown Commentary)

I can’t find any commentary that tells us that the “good things” and “good” means that this gives women free license to preach the Word to women in the churches as the elders and pastors are commanded to do.

“Thou therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus. And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also.” (2 Timothy 2:1,2) Paul is clearly saying that faithful men are the ones called to preach and teach the Word of God to others. There’s no question about it. Godly, older women are commanded to teach the young women biblical womanhood as clearly stated in Titus 2:3-5.

Some will say that I am disobeying God’s commands since I am writing in “public spaces” on my social media, my books, and my blog. I believe the authors of these commentaries meant that women weren’t to leave their homes on a regular basis and even travel away from their homes as many female Bible preachers and teachers do. This ministry has been given to men. God commands women to be keepers at home, and this would take them away from their homes. Our ministry needs to revolve in and around our homes to our families. Women can’t be their husbands’ help meet if they are away from home often nor can they mother their own children.

Women aren’t being taught biblical womanhood from the aged women in the churches. This definitely is the ideal! Women need godly, older women in their lives speaking truth to them but few can find these older women which is tragic. I began my ministry teaching other women in their homes and in my home. It’s the only place I have ever taught women.

Now, I am still teaching women from my home. I don’t teach in a church or anywhere else. I am a keeper of my home. I teach what God commands that I teach to women. I am thankful He has given me the opportunity to do this online since my health is not stable. Even if I were healthy, I would never feel comfortable getting behind a pulpit and preaching to women in a church, even if it was biblical womanhood. I receive many personal messages from women and am able to counsel them individually which has been a huge blessing to me. I will continue to do this until I am no longer able to do so or as the Lord wills.

***Here are the Biblical Womanhood books that I highly recommend!

https://thetransformedwife.com/teachers-of-good-things-mean-women-can-preach-to-women-anything-they-want/

NO SMARTPHONES, TVS, OR SLEEPOVERS FOR THEIR FAMILY

There’s a family, Katie and Elisha, who have twelve things they have decided to not do as a family. They both come from godly families whose parents were intentional about raising their children in the ways of the Lord. They are very admirable and will probably challenge many of you in the way you raise your children. Some of these things your husband will disagree with. That’s okay. Submit to your husband’s desires.

Both parents don’t have smartphones. They are so addictive. They decided they wanted to be present for each other and their children. We didn’t have smartphones when raising our children and did just fine without them. I am thankful we didn’t since it’s hard to stay off of them. They’re just another thing to distract us from real life.

The don’t allow their children to go to friends’ homes or sleepovers. This is a great one! We didn’t allow sleepovers either. We wanted our children under our roof at night when they slept. I asked women on my Instagram when they were first exposed to porn. Many of them said it was at someone else’s home. Even many of those who call themselves Christians don’t faithfully guard what comes into their homes. I also agree with them about not allowing their children to go to friends’ homes. We let our children go to some of their friend’s homes who we knew were Christians. Pornography wasn’t so pervasive back then and there were no smartphones. It’s completely different now.

They only use one car. They want to be home but they do live in walking distances to parks and coffee shops. I am a homebody. I am perfectly happy at home. Children love familiarity and routines. This doesn’t happen if you’re always running here and there. This probably isn’t practical for some of you but for those of you who can live with only one car, it’s a great idea especially for those of you who are looking to come home and save money. You will save a lot of money by having only one car!

They don’t have battery operated toys. They’re too loud and stimulating. We have had a few, and I am always thankful when the battery stops working and there is peace. We didn’t give our children a lot of toys. Children don’t need many. I don’t have many at my home even now. When my grandchildren come here, we spend most of our time outside. They scooter, dig around, pick flowers, play with balls, run around, and simply enjoy the outside. Inside, they do puzzles, color, play creatively, or I read to them. We do have some blocks and a few other toys.

The have no TVs, iPads, or tablets.They do have laptops for the parents but only use them for an hour at night. So their children are never sitting in front of screens. This is far heathier for them. There isn’t much worth watching anyways. We weren’t created to stare at screens all day long. Children develop creativity and imagination by playing. My children would often put on plays for us. Don’t stifle their imaginations by sitting them in front of screens. Let them move, play, and even work as God created them to do.

Their children aren’t allowed to wear graphic sparkly T-shirts or clothing. I forgot exactly why they do this. (The video is linked above if you want to watch to it.) Most of them advertise Disney movies which I am not a fan of. We are also called to be modest and shamefaced, not draw attention to ourselves. This is a good way to teach your children from a young age.

Their children don’t go to children’s church. They want their family to worship together from the time they are young. Our church has a nursery for those who are two or under but they too want families worshiping together. You should see the little children and how quiet they are for an hour and a half service! This is good discipline to learn and even though they may not completely understand everything, they are learning great theology at our church from a young age.

They have no Internet use on Saturdays. This is a great idea! Stay away from all of the news and everything else for an entire day so you can simply be present with your family.

They have no individualized sports.They interfere with dinners and church. They have family sports instead. They play volleyball and go skiing. These team sports do cost a lot and take children away from their homes and even churches often. Our sons were in team sports and loved them. Thankfully, few games were ever played on Sundays but they did take a lot of time. This would be a blessing of a big family. You have your own sport’s teams!

The children have no kid foods or prepackaged snacks. They only eat fruits and vegetables for snacks. It’s far better for your health, weight, and gut to learn not to snack at all but for children, only eating fruits and vegetables is a great idea because they will then enjoy their meals and eat heartily. Training them to have good eating habits from a young age is a gift that you give them.

There is no eating after dinner. Eating after dinner sabotages one’s health and sleep. This is so true! We don’t need to eat nearly as often or as much as most of us do. Disciplining our bodies is a good thing to practice. Overeating is harmful to our health. Food doesn’t digest well when we are sleeping so eating dinner a few hours before bedtime is a great idea, then no snacking.

They have minimal evening commitments. They want family dinners. They want to be able to communicate around the table. Evening commitments take away from this precious family time. Family dinners are a wonderful thing. They definitely bond families together.

The young mother in the video, Katie, has a mother who raised many children in the same way. None of her children feel like they missed out on anything. They are all walking in truth. She’s a great one to learn from! She’s joyful and makes her home a happy place. Children feel secure when their parents have convictions that they know are for their good and protection.

I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
1 Corinthians 9:26, 27

https://thetransformedwife.com/no-smartphones-tvs-or-sleepovers-for-their-family/

NO SMARTPHONES, TVS, OR SLEEPOVERS FOR THEIR FAMILY

There’s a family, Katie and Elisha, who have twelve things they have decided to not do as a family. They both come from godly families whose parents were intentional about raising their children in the ways of the Lord. They are very admirable and will probably challenge many of you in the way you raise your children. Some of these things your husband will disagree with. That’s okay. Submit to your husband’s desires.

Both parents don’t have smartphones. They are so addictive. They decided they wanted to be present for each other and their children. We didn’t have smartphones when raising our children and did just fine without them. I am thankful we didn’t since it’s hard to stay off of them. They’re just another thing to distract us from real life.

The don’t allow their children to go to friends’ homes or sleepovers. This is a great one! We didn’t allow sleepovers either. We wanted our children under our roof at night when they slept. I asked women on my Instagram when they were first exposed to porn. Many of them said it was at someone else’s home. Even many of those who call themselves Christians don’t faithfully guard what comes into their homes. I also agree with them about not allowing their children to go to friends’ homes. We let our children go to some of their friend’s homes who we knew were Christians. Pornography wasn’t so pervasive back then and there were no smartphones. It’s completely different now.

They only use one car. They want to be home but they do live in walking distances to parks and coffee shops. I am a homebody. I am perfectly happy at home. Children love familiarity and routines. This doesn’t happen if you’re always running here and there. This probably isn’t practical for some of you but for those of you who can live with only one car, it’s a great idea especially for those of you who are looking to come home and save money. You will save a lot of money by having only one car!

They don’t have battery operated toys. They’re too loud and stimulating. We have had a few, and I am always thankful when the battery stops working and there is peace. We didn’t give our children a lot of toys. Children don’t need many. I don’t have many at my home even now. When my grandchildren come here, we spend most of our time outside. They scooter, dig around, pick flowers, play with balls, run around, and simply enjoy the outside. Inside, they do puzzles, color, play creatively, or I read to them. We do have some blocks and a few other toys.

The have no TVs, iPads, or tablets.They do have laptops for the parents but only use them for an hour at night. So their children are never sitting in front of screens. This is far heathier for them. There isn’t much worth watching anyways. We weren’t created to stare at screens all day long. Children develop creativity and imagination by playing. My children would often put on plays for us. Don’t stifle their imaginations by sitting them in front of screens. Let them move, play, and even work as God created them to do.

Their children aren’t allowed to wear graphic sparkly T-shirts or clothing. I forgot exactly why they do this. (The video is linked above if you want to watch to it.) Most of them advertise Disney movies which I am not a fan of. We are also called to be modest and shamefaced, not draw attention to ourselves. This is a good way to teach your children from a young age.

Their children don’t go to children’s church. They want their family to worship together from the time they are young. Our church has a nursery for those who are two or under but they too want families worshiping together. You should see the little children and how quiet they are for an hour and a half service! This is good discipline to learn and even though they may not completely understand everything, they are learning great theology at our church from a young age.

They have no Internet use on Saturdays. This is a great idea! Stay away from all of the news and everything else for an entire day so you can simply be present with your family.

They have no individualized sports.They interfere with dinners and church. They have family sports instead. They play volleyball and go skiing. These team sports do cost a lot and take children away from their homes and even churches often. Our sons were in team sports and loved them. Thankfully, few games were ever played on Sundays but they did take a lot of time. This would be a blessing of a big family. You have your own sport’s teams!

The children have no kid foods or prepackaged snacks. They only eat fruits and vegetables for snacks. It’s far better for your health, weight, and gut to learn not to snack at all but for children, only eating fruits and vegetables is a great idea because they will then enjoy their meals and eat heartily. Training them to have good eating habits from a young age is a gift that you give them.

There is no eating after dinner. Eating after dinner sabotages one’s health and sleep. This is so true! We don’t need to eat nearly as often or as much as most of us do. Disciplining our bodies is a good thing to practice. Overeating is harmful to our health. Food doesn’t digest well when we are sleeping so eating dinner a few hours before bedtime is a great idea, then no snacking.

They have minimal evening commitments. They want family dinners. They want to be able to communicate around the table. Evening commitments take away from this precious family time. Family dinners are a wonderful thing. They definitely bond families together.

The young mother in the video, Katie, has a mother who raised many children in the same way. None of her children feel like they missed out on anything. They are all walking in truth. She’s a great one to learn from! She’s joyful and makes her home a happy place. Children feel secure when their parents have convictions that they know are for their good and protection.

I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air: But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.
1 Corinthians 9:26, 27

https://thetransformedwife.com/no-smartphones-tvs-or-sleepovers-for-their-family/

HER LIFE AT HOME PAYS FOR ITSELF

This comment is from Kelly Anne Mabee in response to something I wrote on Facebook. Many women seem to want me to STOP teaching women to be keepers at home since either they don’t want to be home or they can’t. Many wrote that families simply can’t make it on one income. I tried to reason with them and gave all of the reasons why I won’t stop. This comment stood out as amazing to me. I hope it blesses you too!

Please keep teaching us WOMEN. You have been an amazing resource in my life personally, and I pray that for many, many others as well. As far as staying  home as a help meet, keeping home, and being with my babies, raising them instead of dropping them off at daycare, family, or friends, I have come to realize WE DO NOT “NEED” TWO INCOMES. God has blessed us and taken care of us after “we” made the decision that I would stay home so we fully put our trust in Him.

Staying home means we don’t pay for:

Rushed mornings waking up super early to get myself and the kids ready, and the daily stressors involved with all of that.

Fuel to get to daycare provider, family, or friends.

Fuel to then get to work.

Spending all day away from my children.

Fuel to get from work back to the daycare provider.

Fuel to get home.

The actual cost of daycare.

The actual cost of the stress of rushing and constantly being on the go.

When I get off work late, there’s a lot of traffic or I am too tired to make dinner then there is a cost of fuel to go to a place to buy dinner and the actual cost of the dinner itself. Not made with love, not healthy. Not affordable.

The cost of not being able to plan meals.

Not planning shopping around the best sales, comparing prices, and spending OUR money wisely.

The actual stress of not being with my children and keeping the home for them or my husband: laundry piling up, counters messy, couches messy, and kids’ rooms messy.

The cost of my relationship with my husband because God’s Word is not followed.

The cost of my relationship with my kids because they are gone, I am gone, and I am simply too tired and need “me time” away from them.

Not having the time to teach the importance of God’s word and how to obey Him or us.

The taxes they would take out of my paycheck.

I could go on and on and on about all the things we no longer financially pay for, and the things we no longer emotionally pay for.

All of that, not having to pay for all of those things, has made MY JOB AT HOME PAY FOR ITSELF.

And above all of that, I’m honoring God and what He has commanded of me as a woman. So that pays.

I hope other women come to reverence God as well. TRUST IN GOD. When you obey His Word, He will provide a way.

💜

Thank you  Please keep sharing.

Please keep encouraging.

Please keep teaching WOMEN.

We need it.

But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.
Matthew 19:26

https://thetransformedwife.com/her-life-at-home-pays-for-itself/

WHAT DOES NOT DEPRIVING ONE’S HUSBAND ENTAIL?

Recently, Mountain Housewife tweeted this which caused quite a controversy. “Dear married ladies, your approach to sex should be ‘whatever, whenever, and wherever.’ Then watch your marriage and life thrive.”

I then responded to her tweet on my timeline: “Do you agree with her? I love her and she gives great marital advice but I would never give this advice since some men enjoy sex that can be harmful (anal sex, for instance). Some young mothers could never fulfill the whenever and wherever. Many are not married to godly men. God commands us not to deprive our husbands. He doesn’t command we do it whenever, whatever, and wherever. This counsel could place a heavy burden on women.”

Mountain Housewife then tweeted this a few days later: “As I read through the replies to this tweet, I see so many excuses and outright hostility. I’ve even had some death threats. All I’m saying ladies is to do your best for the man you love and make his sexual delight your priority. And stay in the Word of God and prayer.” I agreed with her here wholeheartedly!

Yesterday, a woman asked me to clarify what we both mean when we teach women to not deprive husbands sexually after a man tweeted that husbands can take sex from their wives any time they want. He claims that this teaches them submission. This woman felt that the teaching of not depriving one’s husband sexually results in this type of wrong behavior from men.

There’s other young women who wish Mountain Housewife and I would simply not teach about sex at all since this is personal. Yet, we are commanded to teach young women to love their husbands (Titus 2:4). One of the greatest ways a husband feels loved is by having a wife who doesn’t deprive him sexually. Before marriage, most women never deprive their boyfriends since their boyfriends would leave them if they did but for some reason are fine with depriving their husbands whenever they want because they’re married. Young women NEED to be taught these things! Marriages are being destroyed over this issue.

In this post, I am going to attempt to explain what not depriving one’s husband entails. I have pondered this a lot and even asked the Lord for wisdom. It’s not an easy topic to write on in this highly sexualized, corrupted culture where women are offended so easily and yell, “Marital rape!” when this is taught.

Here’s is what God’s Word has to say about this topic from the KJV:

“Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.” (1 Corinthians 7:3-5)

Defraud means “To withhold wrongfully from another what is due to him.” Once married, women must not withhold sexual intimacy from their husbands. This is a command from God. Our bodies are not our own. We become one flesh and are to give ourselves to each other freely.

Does this mean a wife should give herself to her husband whenever, wherever, and whatever? No, just as a wife submitting to her husband in everything as God commands doesn’t include submitting to any sin against God. We always obey God rather than man which includes our husband. Then there is also common sense which God gave to us.

Anal sex is prevalent in today’s pornographic culture. There is debate about whether it is a sin or not. I believe it is since it’s incredibly harmful and destructive. The anus wasn’t created for sex. It’s not a sexual organ. Anal sex is especially harmful for women. Therefore, I do not believe women need to submit to their husbands in this or any act that they feel degraded or is harmful to them in any way. From Scripture, it seems to be that the sex act should be mutually enjoyed by both husband and wife. This takes time to figure out but it can be done!

Can a wife ever say “no” to her husband? If a wife is freely giving her husband sexual intimacy and her husband knows without a doubt that his wife has good will towards him and wants to please him, then there’s no problems with saying “no” once in awhile because a wife is too tired, not feeling well, or recovering from childbirth, although there are creative ways to satisfy one’s husband without intercourse in the six weeks after childbirth. As long as your husband is loved by you, he will most likely be benevolent to you in this area; for we reap what we sow.

However, there are far too many women who decide when and if they will have sex with their husbands. It’s always on their timetable and when they feel like it. Do we have to always be in the mood to be intimate with our husbands? NO! God’s commands have nothing to do with our feelings. We are to obey Him regardless of our feelings. If your feelings are not to have sex with your husband, change your feelings! Learn to be led by obedience and truth rather than your feelings.

Does this give husbands license to force themselves upon their wives as some claim? No, and why would a husband even want to force himself upon a wife who he knows loves him and desires to please him? Yes, there are some cruel husbands who physically abuse their wives and will force themselves upon them. This is wrong. Any woman who is in an abusive marriage like this needs to seek a way of escape as soon as possible. She should even get the police involved.

The vast majority of husbands, however, are not forcing themselves upon their wives although I am sure that some of them who are being continually deprived by their wives sure feel like it. This is absolutely an affliction for these husbands. They married because they burned sexually. God commands that if they burn, they should marry so they did. Once married, their wives have little interest in pleasing them in this area. These wives are living in sin and are tearing their homes down with their own hands. They need to repent and begin loving their husbands.

Become godly wives who love the Lord and His ways. Learn to love your husband and please him sexually. It will not only bless your husband but it will bless you too. There are abundant blessings in living in obedience to the Lord.

Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love.
Proverbs 5:19

***Here’s a post for wives who are being deprived by their husbands sexually.

https://thetransformedwife.com/what-does-not-depriving-ones-husband-entail/