An American Jew tells the truth.
ANESTHETIST TO FULL-TIME HOMEMAKER
THE TRANSFORMED WIFEANESTHETIST TO FULL-TIME HOMEMAKER
ANESTHETIST TO FULL-TIME HOMEMAKER
Lori Alexander
This is a testimony about the transforming power of Truth from God’s Word from a wife, mother, and homemaker who once was an anesthetist!
Dear Lori,
Consistently reading you has radically changed my life and marriage for the better!! Where do I begin? I always wanted what you have taught, but it’s been a battle bringing it to fruition in my life!! I longed to be a wife and mother at an early age and was blessed to have a wonderful mom who stayed home full-time! Like you, I loved that she was home each day when I arrived home from school so I could share with her all about school and the little stories of my day. She now lives eight hours away and, even though I am 59 years old, we still talk almost every day.
I was an excellent student, a hard worker and was already, unknowingly breathing the air of feminism all around me. Because of my good grades, responsible behavior and ability to work hard, I went off to college with the desire to become a nurse. However, my college counselors recommended, based on my ACT scores and grades that I become a physician instead.
So, being a young woman who also loved to please my parents and others, I began taking pre-med classes. I felt virtually no peace!! I ended up switching back and forth between nursing and pre-med (Natural Sciences) three times because I was torn between wanting to be a wife and mother and feeling like I “should” be a doctor. I recall telling my college counselor, who really wanted me to go to medical school that “I want to be a mom” to which she replied, “You can be a Doctor and a Mom.” But inside I thought, “I want to BE there, raising, loving and being with my children!” I am beyond grateful that I didn’t become a physician. Many of the female physicians I worked with over the years were jealous of the nurses who worked only a couple of shifts a week or month.
I met my first husband the first week of college. We both loved the Lord and wanted to be obedient to God and reserve sex for marriage. When we got engaged, the majority of our friends, acquaintances, and the staff at the small private Catholic college we attended were STRONGLY opposed to our marriage as we were “too young”! I can only recall one friend being supportive of us. However, both of our parents were supportive. I was terrified of getting married and thought we were making a huge mistake because everyone was so in an uproar about it.
Despite this, we were married in the Church right before my sophomore year and his junior year of college. Of course, with both of us working and taking a full load of courses, we began to be overwhelmed and started not getting along. Unfortunately, I thought I made a huge mistake and ended up leaving him a year after we were married. In hindsight, I was twenty years old and desperately wanted to get pregnant (the age of highest fertility…this was totally normal!!). If I had been listening to that still, small voice, I should have dropped out of school, stayed home, and helped my husband finish college and then get pregnant. Our marriage was later annulled.
After I graduated from college, I ended up meeting a wonderful man, and we were married within a year of meeting. I still felt pressure to go to medical school and ended up living three hours away from my husband while I attended anesthesia school where I was under so much stress the entire time. My husband wanted me to work, and I desperately didn’t want our children in daycare full-time. I thought by becoming an anesthetist, I could work part-time and be home most of the time. That is exactly what happened! I worked one day a week and was home with our two sons most of the time for their entire childhood.
However, I am convinced that the stress of school, my career, and feeling like my husband didn’t really want to step up and be the provider and protector, led me to have “Unexplained Infertility.” I was able to conceive one time, but miscarried early on. We ultimately were blessed by the beautiful gift of adoption. We adopted two baby boys at birth who are now 24 and 26.
My job was a very stressful job, but the bigger problem was that I made three times what my husband made. It seemed like no matter what I did or how hard I tried or how much I prayed, there was no unity in my marriage. Little did I realize the high divorce rate when a wife makes more money than her husband.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, (which I now realize was just the normal life of a working wife and mother in our culture), three years ago I essentially had a nervous breakdown. I ended up quitting my job as an anesthetist. and I was also volunteering as a teacher one day a week at an all girls private Catholic school an hour away…and I stepped down from that as well. I was singing, decorating. and floral arranging at Church and I stepped down from those volunteer activities, and we left this Church.
At this point, I had been reading you for a couple of years. I began to realize from reading you that the way that I am, sensitive, nurturing, and more emotional, was not a mistake and didn’t mean there was something wrong with me. I learned from you that I wasn’t weak, because I felt the stress of my job more than a man. It was the way God created me!!! It was a huge relief to be able to accept myself.
Another aspect to your writing that helped me immensely was your blog post on your friendships growing up and how you had experienced cruelty from girls and women. I had this experience so many times throughout my life that I began to believe there was something wrong with me. I also experienced unknowingly, men falling in love with me…wanting to buy me gifts, wanting to bring me dinner when I was on call at the hospital, texting me, etc.
Finally, a priest admitted to struggling with being attracted to me. I had no idea of his struggle as he always treated me with such respect, integrity, and fidelity to his vocation as a Priest. As a result of reading your blog and his honesty with me, I realized what had been going on for all of my life both with men and women. When I quit my job and all outside activities, I was so grateful to God (and relieved) to be in the safety and security of my home each day; no longer having to deal with the unkindness and jealousy of women or the danger of men being attracted to or falling in love with me.Thanks be to God!
The other thing I realized from reading you is that so much of my focus was on outside ministry. Yes, it’s for the Church, but the line that you wrote that helped me the most is:
“You should be spending the majority of your time and energy serving your husband and family!”
The area that has most been set right though is my marriage. I never wanted to be leading the family, but sometimes a wife just has to quit her job and volunteer activities, prioritize her husband and things are restored to the proper order naturally. This has been true in the case of my marriage.
The videos where you show your peaceful, slower paced life have been a great help too! The article on “A Quiet Life” was so powerful! Everyone says that “When you retire you will be busier than ever.” However, I have made a conscious decision not to sign up for volunteer activities or to look for another job, even part time. I cannot tell you the peace that has come into our marriage, home, and family as a result of this. My husband seems comforted by my presence and my availability. He is able to focus exclusively on his career and work whatever hours he needs to work.
I went to spiritual direction regularly with a couple of priests over the last ten years. I am so grateful to God for their help during these trials in my life, but in the quietness of prayer, I am able to acknowledge that, by a landslide, your teaching has helped me in way that has brought such a profound peace and joy to my life; a peace that has eluded me for most of my life. I know that I will never return to the way of life I never wanted in the first place. It’s not so much that you taught me something new, but you provided support and affirmation for being a woman in the way God created me in the midst of a culture where there is little to no support for women being…well, women. This gave me the courage to come “All the Way Home.”
Thank you for the love you have shown for all of us women struggling desperately out here in the land of militant feminism!
I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service. And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Romans 12:1,2
https://thetransformedwife.com/anesthetist-to-full-time-homemaker/
Book: The Unseen Hand: An Introduction to the Conspiratorial View of History
JEWS: THE PERPETUAL VICTIMS
This video deals with Jewish expulsions and why Jews have convinced themselves they matter more when, in reality, they matter the least to God and to every non Jew in the world. But see, in order to rule us, the inferior Jew must cripple us first because in the world of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.
I have added music, changed the pitch and remastered the audio.
Complete list of Jewish expulsions: https://gofile.io/d/Cva7hm(click download)
Note: The above is minus Afghanistan and Yemen, both of which happened after Guatemala, the last recorded expulsion on that list.
Afghanistan: https://www.jta.org/2019/10/31/global/the-last-jews-in-afghanistan-argued-so-much-the-taliban-kicked-them-out-of-prison-and-stole-their-torah
Yemen: https://www.jpost.com/diaspora/almost-all-remaining-jews-in-yemen-deported-saudi-media-663486
WHEN FEAR MEETS FAITH – LOVE OUR HUSBANDS
https://thetransformedwife.com/when-fear-meets-faith-love-our-husbands/
The Jewish Question
10 Ways Women Emasculate Men (without even realizing it) and 5 ways they can build a man up.
How women emasculate men
A Caution to the Young; Exhortation to Early Piety. Matthew Henry Overview of Ecclesiastes 11:7-10
7 Truly the light is sweet, and a pleasant thing it isfor the eyes to behold the sun: 8 But if a man live many years, and rejoice in them all; yet let him remember the days of darkness; for they shall be many. All that cometh is vanity. 9 Rejoice, O young man, in thy youth; and let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, and walk in the ways of thine heart, and in the sight of thine eyes: but know thou, that for all these things God will bring thee into judgment. 10 Therefore remove sorrow from thy heart, and put away evil from thy flesh: for childhood and youth are vanity.
Here is an admonition both to old people and to young people, to think of dying, and get ready for it. Having by many excellent precepts taught us how to live well, the preacher comes now, towards the close of his discourse, to teach us how to die well and to put us in mind of our latter end.
I. He applies himself to the aged, writes to them as fathers, to awaken them to think of death, v. 7, 8. Here is, 1. A rational concession of the sweetness of life, which old people find by experience: Truly the light is sweet; the light of the sun is so; it is a pleasant thing for the eyes to behold it. Light was the first thing made in the formation of the great world, as the eye is one of the first in the formation of the body, the little world. It is pleasant to see the light; the heathen were so charmed with the pleasure of it that they worshipped the sun. It is pleasant by it to see other things, the many agreeable prospects this world gives us. The light of life is so. Light is put for life, Job 3 20, 23. It cannot be denied that life is sweet. It is sweet to bad men because they have their portion in this life; it is sweet to good men because they have this life as the time of their preparation for a better life; it is sweet to all men; nature says it is so, and there is no disputing against it; nor can death be desired for its own sake, but dreaded, unless as a period to present evils or a passage to future good. Life is sweet, and therefore we have need to double a guard upon ourselves, lest we love it too well. 2. A caution to think of death, even in the midst of life, and of life when it is most sweet and we are most apt to forget death: If a man live many years, yet let him remember the days of darkness are coming. Here is, (1.) A summer’s day supposed to be enjoyed—that life may continue long, even many years, and that, by the goodness of God, it may be made comfortable and a man may rejoice in them all. There are those that live many years in this world, escape many dangers, receive many mercies, and therefore are secure that they shall want no good, and that no evil shall befal them, that the pitcher which has come so often from the well safe and sound shall never come home broken. But who are those that live many years and rejoice in them all?Alas! none; we have but hours of joy for months of sorrow. However, some rejoice in their years, their many years, more than others; if these two things meet, a prosperous state and a cheerful spirit, these two indeed may do much towards enabling a man to rejoice in them all, and yet the most prosperous state has its alloys and the most cheerful spirit has its damps; jovial sinners have their melancholy qualms, and cheerful saints have their gracious sorrows; so that it is but a supposition, not a case in fact, that a man should live many years and rejoice in them all.But, (2.) Here is a winter’s night proposed to be expected after this summer’s day: Yet let this hearty old man remember the days of darkness, for they shall be many. Note, [1.] There are days of darknesscoming, the days of our lying in the grave; there the body will lie in the dark; there the eyes see not, the sun shines not. The darkness of death is opposed to the light of life; the grave is a land of darkness, Job 10 21. [2.] Those days of darkness will be many; the days of our lying under ground will be more than the days of our living above ground. They are many, but they are not infinite; many as they are, they will be numbered and finished when the heavens are no more, Job 14 12. As the longest day will have its night, so the longest night will have its morning. [3.] It is good for us often to remember those days of darkness, that we may not be lifted up with pride, nor lulled asleep in carnal security, nor even transported into indecencies by vain mirth. [4.] Notwithstanding the long continuance of life, and the many comforts of it, yet we must remember the days of darkness,because those will certainly come, and they will come with much the less terror if we have thought of them before.
II. He applies himself to the young, and writes to them as children, to awaken them to think of death (v. 9, 10); here we have,
1. An ironical concession to the vanities and pleasures of youth: Rejoice, O young man! in thy youth. Some make this to be the counsel which the atheist and the epicure give to the young man, the poisonous suggestions against which Solomon, in the close of the verse, prescribes a powerful antidote. But it is more emphatic if we take it, as it is commonly understood, by way of irony, like that of Elijah to the priests of Baal (Cry aloud, for he is a god), or of Micaiah to Ahab (Go to Ramoth-Gilead, and prosper), or of Christ to his disciples, Sleep on now. “Rejoice, O young man! in thy youth, live a merry life, follow thy sports, and take thy pleasures; let thy heart cheer thee in the days of thy youth, cheer thee with its fancies and foolish hopes; entertain thyself with thy pleasing dreams; walk in the ways of thy heart; do whatever thou hast a mind to do, and stick at nothing that may gratify the sensual appetite. Quicquid libet, licet—Make thy will thy law. Walk in the ways of thy heart, and let thy heart walk after thy eyes, a rambling heart after a roving eye; what is pleasing in thy own eyes do it, whether it be pleasing in the eyes of God or no.” Solomon speaks thus ironically to the young man to intimate, (1.) That this is that which he would do, and which he would fain have leave to do, in which he places his happiness and on which he sets his heart. (2.) That he wishes all about him would give him this counsel, would prophesy to him such smooth things as these, and cannot brook any advice to the contrary, but reckons those his enemies that bid him be sober and serious. (3.) To expose his folly, and the great absurdity of a voluptuous vicious course of life. The very description of it, if men would see things entirely, and judge of them impartially, is enough to show how contrary to reason those act that live such a life. The very opening of the cause is enough to determine it, without any argument. (4.) To show that if men give themselves to such a course of life as this it is just with God to give them up to it, to abandon them to their own heart’s lusts, that they may walk in their own counsels, Hos 4 7.
2. A powerful check given to these vanities and pleasures: “Know thou that for all these things God shall bring thee into judgment, and duly consider that, and then live such a luxurious life if thou canst, if thou darest.” This is a kolasterion—a corrective to the foregoing concession, and plucks in the reins he had laid on the neck of the young man’s lust. “Know then, for a certainty, that, if thou dost take such a liberty as this, it will be thy everlasting ruin; thou hast to do with a God who will not let it go unpunished.” Note, (1.) There is a judgment to come. (2.) We must every one of us be brought into judgment, however we may now put far from us that evil day. (3.) We shall be reckoned with for all our carnal mirth and sensual pleasures in that day. (4.) It is good for all, but especially for young people, to know and consider this, that they may not, by the indulgence of their youthful lusts, treasure up unto themselves wrath against that day of wrath, the wrath of the Lamb.
3. A word of caution and exhortation inferred from all this, v. 10. Let young people look to themselves and manage well both their souls and their bodies, their heart and their flesh. (1.) Let them take care that their minds be not lifted up with pride, nor disturbed with anger, or any sinful passion: Remove sorrow, or anger, from thy heart; the word signifies any disorder or perturbation of the mind. Young people are apt to be impatient of check and control, to vex and fret at any thing that is humbling and mortifying to them, and their proud hearts rise against every thing that crosses and contradicts them. They are so set upon that which is pleasing to sense that they cannot bear any thing that is displeasing, but it goes with sorrow to their heart. Their pride often disquiets them, and makes them uneasy. “Put that away, and the love of the world, and lay thy expectations low from the creature, and then disappointments will not be occasions of sorrow and anger to thee.” Some by sorrow here understand that carnal mirth described v. 9, the end of which will be bitterness and sorrow. Let them keep at a distance from every thing which will be sorrow in the reflection. (2.) Let them take care that their bodies be not defiled by intemperance, uncleanness, or any fleshly lusts: “Put away evil from the flesh, and let not the members of thy body be instruments of unrighteousness. The evil of sin will be the evil of punishment, and that which thou art fond of, as good for the flesh, because it gratifies the appetites of it, will prove evil, and hurtful to it, and therefore put it far from thee, the further the better.”
III. The preacher, to enforce his admonition both to old and young, urges, as an effectual argument, that which is the great argument of his discourse, the vanity of all present things, their uncertainty and insufficiency. 1. He reminds old people of this (v. 8): All that comes is vanity; yea, though a man live many years and rejoice in them all, All that has come already, and all that is yet to come, how much soever men promise themselves from the concluding scenes, it is all vanity. What will be will do no more to make men happy than what has been. All that comeinto the world are vanity; they are altogether so, at their best estate. 2. He reminds young people of this: Childhood and youth are vanity. The dispositions and actions of childhood and youth have in them a great deal of impertinence and iniquity, sinful vanity, which young people have need to watch against and get cured. The pleasures and advantages of childhood and youth have in them no certainty, satisfaction, nor continuance. They are passing away; these flowers will soon wither, and these blossoms fall; let them therefore be knit into good fruit, which will continue and abound to a good account.